I think I’ll probably just use my livejournal for my thoughts, until i feel like making another blog again, if i do.

I’ll leave this here for the articles I wrote.

Considering changing my blog name, since I think it’s weird and bizzare to go on using things inspired by other people when you don’t associate with them anymore.

Love is the satisfaction of creation

Casting off my black and white view of the world has probably been my longest and slowest learning experience. I remember at 18 or so being shocked and confused by the suggestion that people can be good and bad at the same time. It’s taken almost 3 years for me to make any headway in understanding that.

I think I’ve made some progress, though. Perhaps not enough, yet, but a good amount. In doing so I have recognised and come to accept my own dark side – that I have one, and that it will always be a part of me. The more I reject it, the more I become it; I have learned, instead, to simply observe it, and accept its presence.

I was raised by sadistic and arrogant parents. therefore that is an aspect of my personality. That doesn’t mean, though, that I AM sadistic and arrogant. If I had gone on denying that I had a dark side, then eventually I would have become it. I think that ultimately I am a kind and generous person who really wants the best for others.

Accepting my own dark side helps me accept the dark side in others, such as former friends and lovers. They are not evil, horrible people. We just happen to lock into negative grooves around each other, and therefore, cannot grow together. That’s okay.

It’s interesting, that for a long time, I leaned very heavily on black and white in my art. Over the last few months, I have done away with these altogether and use mostly green and orange instead.

In a doctor’s waiting room yesterday, I read an old-ish Times article about ADD. In the last paragraph, they squished in something about how better parenting does more than policing, and legislation, and politics ever will.

It’s a start.

The first conversation you have with someone will determine every conversation you ever have.

Don’t waste time trying to impress people who don’t care. They never will.

I got a live journal so as to keep my informative posts and my personal posts seperate. I have to go out now, but when I get home I’m going to delete most of the shorter entries in here

my live journal http://kaptnjack.livejournal.com/

I feel insecure about my latest posts, so I privated them for a while, I’ll read through them and repost what I feel happy with…Probably should not have posted about FDR, I was thinking about it for a long time, and I gave into temptation, but my unconscious is telling me it wasn’t a good idea.

I had my first real fall off my longboard a few days ago, I fell with all my weight on one arm. It didn’t hurt at first, but it does now, my shoulder is really stiff and my upper arm is really tender. Even typing is kind of jarring to it. Can’t put any weight on it. Somehow, despite being paper white and anemic, I have no bruising whatsoever…. So either my anemia is getting better, or I lack sufficient amounts of blood to even bruise.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear

When you want to do something… and you are honest and passionate about it… the people you need to help you accomplish your ideas just appear. I have met some awesome people over the last few days, including an artist who can mentor me in getting jobs working with kids…. which is great.

Also, pretty unrelated…. I kind of feel like a jerk lately. Like, I think I am acting more arrogant than is natural for me. I’ve been scoffing at people more, and getting more involved in political debates which is extremely unlike me. I think it may be related to my committment to veganism, I think the part of me that feels compassion for animals has been attacked so much that it is sorrounded by a lot of defenses and anger. I guess I just have to be as empathetic with it as I can.